I’m sure this will raise some eyebrows. I mean I get the whole Chinese culture thing. Every culture has their own set of “rules”, their own way of doing things. I totally agree that whenever you travel to a foreign country you should try to learn at least a few basic phrases and the basic do’s and don’ts.  I have lived in China for just over 20 months now.  My mandarin is still poor at best and maybe I don’t try as hard as I should, but I do get by.  I think I understand the basic “cultural stuff” in this country of 1.3 billion people with a rich history and one of the oldest civilizations on the planet. I actually love this country, the opportunities it has given me and the amazing places I have visited and the things I have experienced. But…..does China, or should I say the people, who are worldly and “get it”, push the envelope and use it to their advantage as a method of manipulation or am I really causing someone to lose face?  And…..is it different in the countryside versus city?  Why do I ask?  Because after being in this country for this long, every now and again I feel I am being “manipulated by tradition”.  Please don’t take this as I am fed up with China, well, yes I do get pissed off every now and again, but not ready to kick China to the curb and say nice knowing you……too much I still have to explore in this place……..so…….

When I first arrived in China, August 2015, I spent 2 weeks in training in Beijing.  Part TEFL training, part Mandarin language training, some calligraphy classes, a little TaiChi and a lot about Chinese Culture, traditions, do’s and don’ts, what is saving face, be careful of the baijiu and so forth.  We, me and 70+ other newbies, (actually 98% of we were kids fresh out of high school doing a gap year) bought into all the Chinese culture, tradition, saving face stuff.

I mean, okay, if it will cause someone to lose face if I offer a tip for service, no problem, I can easily forget about tipping.  Yes, I can remember not to stick my chopsticks upright in my rice because it will look like incense sticks at a funeral.  No, I won’t randomly touch strangers, especially on the head (shit, I don’t touch strangers in Warren, Ohio), but why don’t YOU recognize personal space and queue up?  No, I won’t give a clock, umbrella, a green hat or anything that comes in fours as a gift. Nor, will I be offended when you refuse my gift at least 3 times before finally accepting it, after all, it is the “Chinese Way”.  And yes, I will always remember to accept your gift with 2 open hands. This one’s easy, if I am invited to dinner, I will never offer up money which would cause my host to lose face. I could go on and on, because at least once a day I hear, “it’s the Chinese way”, “It’s Chinese tradition”, “Save Face”. If I ask the simple question, “Why?”, I am usually met with, “no why”.

Back to the original question, “is it real or a form of manipulation”?  Many times I have been requested, at the last minute, to do something or change my schedule. When I say last minute, I literally mean “last minute”. It can be on the spot and you are put in a position you can’t really say no.  “It’s the Chinese way!”  Numerous times I got up in the morning, dressed and reviewed my lesson, only to arrive at school and be told, “sorry, no English class today, they have exams”.  Are you effing kidding me, you didn’t know this last week, or really, even last night. Did someone wake up and just decide, oh, lets give the whole school a test today.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about having the day off, but, it would have been nice to stay in my cozy bed instead of arriving and being sent home.

Take this past Saturday for example, I give private lessons from 9 to noon to 2 students in my home.  Being in my home, I stay in bed as long as possible then piddle and sip my coffee until I absolutely must be presentable when my students arrive. I finally rolled out of bed at 8:15 and put the water on for coffee.  I kid you not, there was a knock at my door at 8:25.  Really……it was one of my students. I quickly threw a track suit over my pajamas. That works, right? I am in my own home and have nothing planned for the day, except to venture out at some point for my $6.00 massage.  I hand him a copy off The Little Prince Chinese/English version and continue getting ready for the lessons.  June, my assistant arrives at 9 and my second student at 9:05.  Soon we are deeply involved in fruits, vegetables and all kinds of food.  Laughing, reading, tasting, making deviled eggs, popping popcorn and practicing our English.  All is right with the world……wrong. June gets a phone call and I get a wechat message from Peter at about 11 am.  It says Hot Pot at noon.  Notice the lack of a question mark.  I reply with a simple no.  A few minutes later, June says, we must go have Hot Pot at 12.  Again, I politely say no and explain. First, lessons don’t finish until noon and I have pajamas on under this track suit because he arrived at 8:25.  I shoot the same message to Peter.  Who says, “it’s okay, we will wait”.  Okay, I am no longer feeling “polite” and put Zootopia on for the kids to watch while they eat popcorn. I ask June, who is we and why MUST we go.  It is the headmaster of the Primary School.  He is inviting you. You can’t say no, he will lose face.  “June, I am not happy about this and I will not be there at noon.”  I send the kids on their way, June waits for me to quickly/not quickly get dressed and she drives us to lunch.  Yes, it was a lovely lunch, the headmaster was very happy to have me, we drank two bottles of wine and despite the fact I was fuming inside, I smiled and played nice.  Needless to say, after 2 bottles of wine and small talk, mostly in Chinese, we finished around 4 pm.  My day was shot.

Many people claim you develop a love/hate relationship with China.  To an extent I must agree, but as I stated earlier, I am not ready to kick China to the curb quite yet.  It really is an amazing culture with many amazing people who will be my life long friends.

Would he have really lost face or was I manipulated?  I will let you be the judge.

April 2 begins the 3 day Qingming Festival in China. Qing Ming, or Tomb Sweeping, is a traditional Chinese festival on the first day of the fifth solar term of the traditional Chinese lunisolar calendar. Basically, the 15^th day after the Spring Equinox, either the 4^th or 5^th of April in a given year.  Other translations include Chinese Memorial Day or Ancestor’s Day.  The holiday is associated with eating qingtuan, green dumplings made of glutinous rice and barley grass.  During Qingming Festival, Chinese people visit columbaria, graves or burial grounds to pray to their ancestors.  It is an opportunity to remember and honor ancestors at the grave sites.  Young and old alike pray before the ancestors, sweep the tombs and offer food, tea, wine, chopsticks, joss paper and libations to the ancestors.

What does this mean to me?  Simple, extra days off work and the opportunity to travel and tick a bucket list item.  Xi’an is a quick 6 hour ride by bullet train from Jinan, the capital of my province. Why Xi’an, you ask? On March 29,1974, local farmers, while digging a well, unearthed what is one of 11 things billed as the 8^th Wonder of World, The Terracotta Army. The Terracotta Army is a collection of terracotta sculptures depicting the armies of Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China. It is a form of funerary art buried with the emperor in 210-209 BCE and whose purpose was to protect the emperor in his afterlife.  But, enough about the army, that will be a future post as I am currently on a train 302 kph towards Xi’an. Thanks also to Wikipedia for filling in some details on Qingming and the army.

Now back to random acts of kindness.  Although I have been traveling throughout China as a solo female off and on for about 18 months, Peter has been concerned for my welfare ever since arriving in Dong’e.  In order to travel to Xi’an and make the most of my time, I would need to catch the bullet train from Jinan.  Jinan, depending on where in the city you are going is anywhere from 75 to 90 minutes by car.  I usually have a driver available to take me most places I want to go. However, this time, Peter asked if I would mind taking the bus as all 3 drivers that are usually available for me were tied up.  The bus would take about 2 hours.  I told him that it was no problem taking a bus from Dong’e to Jinan.  The bus was leaving at 5:10 pm and Peter purchased my ticket for me since he was feeling bad about not being able to drive me.  Of course, he escorted me to the coach station, 45 minutes early, I might add.  His idea not mine.  So while we wait on the bus to arrive, Peter insists he wait so he can talk to the bus driver to be sure I get off where I need to and can go to the train station to get my ticket the night before so I don’t have to fight holiday travel crowds early (my train was 7:08 am)  to pick up my ticket.  The bus arrives, I board, its packed to the gills, and find a seat in the last row.  Peter is running around talking to the driver, chatting with random people, etc.  Next thing I know he is on the bus looking for me.  He then points at a young man near the front of the bus and tells me that the gentleman would look after me.  Okay, whatever, this isn’t my first rodeo, I just smile and say thank you.

So, the journey begins.  An overcrowded, rickety bus and bumpy countryside roads, I put my headphones and figure I will close my eyes and relax.  Problem number one, headphone is broke. Problem number two, the bus has stopped and is backing up on the narrow single lane road with busses and trucks coming in the other direction.

Next thing I know, the bus is attempting a 3 point turn around, or so I thought.  We are actually trying to turn, and not fall off the road into a ditch, and head down what looks like a dirt path through a field.  We make the turn and we are on our way again.

About 2 hours later, the man in the front of the bus is motioning me to come with him and get off the bus.  Okay, it looks like we are on some random back street outside of town. This is where faith kicks in and you get off the bus and go with the man, who carries your suitcase for you. He leads you to a waiting car, puts your suitcase in the trunk, opens the car door and motions for you to get in.  Not knowing where I am and the bus has pulled away, I get in the car and say “nihao” to the lady driving the car.  My escort tells me in his best English, they will take me to the train station so I can get my ticket tonight because it will be very busy in the morning.  We get to the train station and I say thank, you. He says, “No, I will go with you so you have no trouble”. Into the station we go, he waits in line with me and I get my ticket. He walks outside with me and I again thank him and plan to get in a taxi to my hotel.  Again, he says, No, I will find a taxi for you. I told your friend I would get you to the hotel”. Although his English wasn’t that good, he got the point across.  He also pointed to a building nearby and said he worked in IT in that building so it is no problem to help me.  We get near the main road and he speaks to a woman and tells me to pay her 20 rmb ($3.00) and she would make sure I got to the hotel.  I jump in the backseat of the car while she puts my suitcase in the trunk and about 15 minutes later she delivers me to the hotel.

This is the lovely Boutique Hotel I posted the video.  Again, the people at the hotel were so kind despite language barriers.  The lady at reception checked me in, took my suitcase and carried it to my room, turned on the lights, showed me around, said, “okay”?  I said “yes, xiexie”.  After she left, I realized I forgot to tell her I would need a taxi at 6am to the train station. I put the info in my google translate (a lifesaver when in China) and went downstairs.  She said okay.  In the morning, my phone rang a little before 6am and the lady said “come”. I figured my taxi was here and headed downstairs.  She hadn’t called me a taxi, but got someone she knew to drive me to the train station.   End of story, he delivered me to the station and I got on my train to Xi’an.

I know I ramble a lot for a such a short, but the kindness of the people I have met in China is worth telling. Not only that, but I didn’t have anything else exciting to post on my blog. I am writing this as my train is heading towards Xi’an where I am sure I will have some more exciting things to blog about, but for now, this is what you get.

I know there is a lot of controversy going on in America right now regarding health care.  Trust me, it is still better than China, especially rural China. I am sure things are probably different in Shanghai or Beijing, but the following is my experience.

A few random comments, if you have to visit a hospital in China, it is definitely to your advantage being a laowai, foreigner.  You get pushed to the front of every line, even if there appears to be 15 to 20 people already waiting in front of you.  Be prepared for lack of privacy as tests are not given in nice little individual sanitary rooms, no hippa in China. Be prepared to have everyone in the room watching only you, the non Chinese person.

I received a phone call one day last week from XinLe. She was formerly a teacher here in Dong’e, but quit to open up a shop. When Peter is unavailable she will escort me on marketing events, of which I have done several and she also assists me during the 2 group lessons I give.  Back to the phone call, she said she was picking me up in one hour, I had to go to the hospital for a “body check”.  Body check, ummmm, what does that mean.  She said, “you know, they check your body.”  Not really liking this last minute announcement, I got myself ready and went to meet XinLe for my “body check”.  She explained that some cities require a health check for teachers, but she didn’t know what all I would need.  We arrived at the Dong’e Women’s and Children’s Hospital about 5 in the afternoon.  Walked up to the desk, after I walked through a lobby of faces and fingers pointing at me.  You know, why is the laowai, foreigner, at the hospital.  XinLe has a long conversation with the girl at the reception desk. She looks something up on her computer, makes a phone call, more conversation…….come back tomorrow, reason being, I have to have a blood test and no eating or drinking after midnight.

8 am the next morning, XinLe picks me up and back to the hospital.  Lots of conversation, finally we get a piece of paper. XinLe says, “Wait here”. She was only moving 10 feet away from me to the cashier.  She had to pay the 100 rmb or $15 for my body check, which, other than the blood work, I have no idea what I am in for. Breath deep, well, maybe not so deeply, and get ready for a new experience.

XinLe, looks at the paper and determines, “we go that way,” as she points to a crowded area at the end of the hall.  We get to a window at the end of the hall, us and about 20 Chinese people wanting to get a look at the laowai.  She takes all my things from me and has me take off my coat and roll up my sleeve, ahhhh, the blood work.  Which I now realize is pretty much like going up to a teller window at a bank.  3 people are behind the counter and 3 people with their arm on the counter having a blood sample taken. Chinese people don’t really que up for anything so it is pretty much whoever works their way to the front and gets their arm down on the counter gets the next needle.  Well, the waters divide and I am pushed to the counter. Arm down, everyone pointing at my tattoos, band gets slapped on and the needle inserted. I didn’t even have time to see it coming in this assembly line process. Needle out and I am handed a q-tip to stop the bleeding and pushed out of the way.  Whew, hope that’s it.

Nope, XinLe, checks the paper and says, “that way,” as she points to another window with even more people.  She works her way to the window, says something to one of the 4 or 5 workers and then hands me a tiny plastic cup, about the size of one that comes with a bottle of Nyquil.   My guess is they want me to pee in this smaller than a shot glass container. Sure enough, XinLe says, “urine test” and directs me across the hall to a public bathroom which looks like it has been cleaned…..never!

There was actually a toilet brush laying on the window sill. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, so to spare you all the gory details, XinLe had all my things including my phone, so I couldn’t snap any photos.  You will have to rely on my verbage for pretty much my entire experience.  Well, at least there are doors on the squatty potties.  Ok, doors, but they don’t really shut.  So here I am, tiny plastic cup, drop drawers, squat, take aim…..okay now what, you have filled the cup, not to mention soaked your hand and god knows you must have dampened your pants, how do you get your TP, which you have to provide yourself, then manage to get your pants up all while balancing a tiny shot glass of urine.  Well, only choice, set the shot glass on the window ledge and take care of business, trying to clean your hand best as possible.  Leave the bathroom balancing your cup of pee while trying to avoid the others coming and going to the bathroom, with and without cups, remember, it is a public toilet.  XinLe tells me to take the cup to the counter. I maneuver my way to the counter and I am, by way of hand motions, signaled to set my cup on a piece of paper.  The girl behind the counter dips a test strip in and then places it in a tiny vial.  She then motions for me to take my cup of pee back. I pick it up and look for XinLe who tells me I need to take it back to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet and throw away the cup.  Work my way back through the crowd, mission accomplished. I then take my purse from XinLe and find a wet wipe and clean my hands. I am not sure where the sinks were, but in China, you always carry tissues and wet wipes.  Blood done, piss test done, hopefully that is it.

No such luck, XInLe says we need to go upstairs, heart check.  I can hardly wait.  We arrive upstairs and are directed to a room.  Wow, an actual room, not a counter in the hallway.  We enter the room, lo and behold there are about 15 people in the room and an archaic EKG machine. Of course everyone turns to look, again, gee I get to go next. I am instructed to lay down on the table, I am positive the sheet does not get changed between patients.  Next thing I know, what felt like shackles were put on my wrists and ankles and my shirt was lifted.

Oh yes, that was one for the record books. Chinese women don’t have much in the way of breasts, well, they, men and women alike in the room got an eyeful when they saw mine.  Next a paint brush was used to paint some sort of liquid where they tried to attach the EKG pads.  I say tried because when they tried to put them in place the shackles on my ankles popped off because the cables were a little short. I guess you could say I am too tall for China.  After some adjustments they were finally able to take the EKG.  Again, no hippa in China, my printout got handed around to every Tom, Dick and Harry in the room before they gave it back to XinLe.  Okay, I was totally ready to get out of that room, I’m not usually claustrophobic, but it was getting a bit too crowded in there for me.

We leave, I ask XinLe if we were done, she said, “no,” got on the translator on her phone and showed me the translation……gynecological exam.  To which I promptly said, “no fucking way.” Please pardon the profanity, but it was what slipped out of my mouth.  I have seen archaic equipment, the group exams, witnessed a bit more than I wanted too.  She said to follow her and we went to the desk. I again told her there was no way I would do the gyno exam.  Another phone call, she then told me the doctor said it is okay if I didn’t take the exam, damn straight, I would have walked out.  Are we done yet, I asked like a whiny kid asking are we there yet? No, we have to see the doctor.

Down the stairs, by the way, no such thing as an elevator in this hospital, its stairs or nothing.  We are escorted into a room with 2 men that appear to be Doctors and in fact they were. As Gomer would have said, “surprise, surprise, surprise,” we are the only people in the room and for guess what?  I finally have a test in private and it is a blood pressure check.  Really, I just had an EKG with 15 people gawking, but my blood pressure test is in private and with 2 doctors.  Of course, the BP device was from last century, but even after all the excitement I had just been through my BP was perfect.

“Can we go now?” “No,” she said. Nooooo, really…..okay what next. The Doctors wanted to take photos with me.  I imagine I was the first laowai to have a “body check” at this hospital.  At least my experience ended with a laugh as we took multiple photos and selfies, of which I have none as XinLe still had my things.  And yes, even Doctors give the peace sign in photos.

As we were leaving the hospital XinLe told me we had one more stop, we had to go get one inch photos for my “body check” card.  At this point, taking a photo was nothing……so somewhere in Dong’e, most likely hanging or on file in the kindergarten is my “body check” card.

Another reminder of things we take for granted.

Note: The photos are from the internet but fairly represent my experience and survival of a Chinese Hospital.

I have pretty much settled into life in Dong’e County 东阿县.  Dong’e sits on the banks of the Yellow River or Huang He.  The Yellow River is the second longest in Asia and the sixth longest river system in the world.  I am lucky to have an apartment on the 24^th (top) floor of a building overlooking the river and a beautiful park.  Dong’e County is made up of several small villages, of which I travel to two on Tuesdays to teach kindergarten in the countryside.  Total population of the county is 420,000 in 308 square miles. Definitely small by China standards.

The nearest big city, Liaocheng 聊城市, is about 22 miles away.  Liaocheng has a population of 5.8 million in 3,365 square miles.  The capital, of my province Shandong, is Jinan. Jinan 济南市 is about 60 miles from Dong’e and has a population of about 7 million in 3,157 square miles.  As you can tell, I live in a very small community. Now that you know a little about where I live, on to the “meat” of the story…..pun intended.

Dong’e is regionally and nationally known for the production of Ejiao 阿胶. Ejiao, aka donkey-hide gelatin or ass-hide glue, is obtained from the skin of the donkey by soaking and stewing.  Donkey-hide gelatin is made in other coastal provinces, but got the name Ejiao from Dong’e County. History tells that there is a well in Dong’e that was kept closed and sealed. It was only opened when water was taken to prepare Ejiao for the Emperor’s Court. I can actually see this well from my apartment.  Ejiao is considered one of the top 3 most important “herbs” in TCM, Traditional Chinese Medicine. For more info follow the link Ejiao.

The Well

The Well at Night

Peter, my boss, also has a family business which makes wine.  They have several wines which contain Ejiao. Yes, I have drank them and no, it does not alter the taste of the wine.  If Peter hadn’t told me, I never would have known.

Okay, so Dong’e is known for production of Ejiao. I asked where these donkey’s are raised and are they raised only for their hide? Peter told me his cousin would take me to visit the donkey ranch.  This should be an adventure, I thought to myself, she speaks absolutely zero English and my Chinese, well, pitiful..  Having had dinner at their home earlier in the week, at least I had already spent some time with her and her husband.  She (I still don’t know her name) picked me up the next afternoon and off we went to the donkey ranch just outside of the city.  I have to say, it was quite nice and the donkeys seemed well cared for. After a few selfies with the donkey’s we headed back into town.  We stopped at a park, which I now overlook from my apartment, and spent a couple hours wandering around as there is an Ejiao Museum there.  I have no idea what she said to the guard at the gate, but we didn’t pay the 50 rmb entrance fee to the museum.  It was actually quite impressive.

Donkey Ranch

The Ejiao Museum

My Guide, Cousin’s Wife

Luckily, WeChat (a highly used app in China, since FB is blocked) does a great job of translating.  She was taking me to her place of employment, The State Grid, the electric company.  She wanted me to meet her co-workers (she had taken the day off) and then we would wait on her husband to get off work and we would go to dinner.  Seriously, my first 10 days in this town were feeding frenzies. After I met EVERYONE who works with her and took 100’s of selfies with them, we  finally were ready to head to dinner.

Here is where I get to the “meat” of the story…..cousin, as I call her husband, insisted we go for donkey for dinner.  Having just visited a donkey ranch, this didn’t sit real well with me, although it did answer my earlier question, do they only raise donkeys for their hide.  Evidently, no, they also raise them for their meat.  They finally convinced me to go for a donkey meat dinner and I would at least try it. There would be many other things to eat if I didn’t like it.  Off we go to the restaurant. Peter was meeting us there along with his high school English teacher. As we were were sipping our Ejiao wine and a little Baijiu, the food started arriving.  There was a beautiful plate of, if I didn’t know better I would have thought to be roast beef, donkey.

Tender, tasty donkey roast

Donkey Baozi

All I am going to say, and end it here…..I ate donkey and I liked, no, loved it.