In a few short months, not only will I celebrate that milestone birthday that makes me eligible for social security, but I will have spent 10 years living outside of my country of birth. I sat here today staring at maps, calendars, WorkAway options, Visa requirements, and things I will need to consider as I embark on the next chapter. There are thousands of blogs, articles, and stories about “What Long-Term Travel Has Taught Me”. I have seen this planet we live on referred to as “The World’s Biggest Classroom”. For the last ten years, I have mostly had a “home base” and often a job somewhere. As I was contemplating my next chapter, I started thinking about what I have learned in those years that will help me in what could be a radically different journey. So, like thousands before me, here are a few, who am I kidding, here are more than a few things long-term travel has taught me.
About five years ago, I wrote a blog called “No Cheese in China”. It coincided with my leaving China, and I always say that when I write a book, that will be the title. As I look back, I remember how much I thought I missed cheese. There may not be any cheese in China, and I have more cheese than I can eat living in Europe, but I have discovered more than enough wonderful people, places, and experiences in this world to replace it. I have learned I don’t need cheese.
I have learned to listen to understand, not to respond. How many times have you been talking with someone, and they say something that makes you want to reply with your own story? The rest of the time they are talking you go over what you want to say in your head and miss most of what they are saying. Or, in the worst-case scenario, you interrupt to have your say. If someone is telling you of their experience unless they ask, don’t tell them how you had the same thing happen to you. Listen to understand, to learn. If they want you to reply, they will ask. Don’t “one-up” their story. When traveling, communication is important, and more often than not it is with people whose first language is not English. Sometimes accents are hard to understand, therefore you must listen carefully to understand, or it could lead to big misunderstandings. You would be surprised how many non-native speakers have pronunciation trouble with “beach” and “bitch” and “six” and “sex”. Imagine the direction those conversations could go. Before entering a conversation, I try to silence myself, clear meaningless thoughts and if necessary, calm any emotions. Listen to understand.
I have learned patience and flexibility. You will need to trust me on this one. I can’t think of any specific stories but long queues at airport security, long waits for Visa approvals, no ATMs, canceled flights, language barriers, getting lost in a strange city, navigating public transportation, and local customs and traditions will all at some point try your patience and force you to be flexible.
Food takes on a new meaning when you are outside your home country. Amy Choi tells us in her article, “What Americans Can Learn from Other Food Cultures” that food is the single great unifier across cultures. It also tells us that how and why you eat your food is very cultural. In China, people eat food not necessarily for taste, but for texture. Food in France is about pleasure and food in Italy is love, while food in Arabic cultures is about community. While I have experienced this about these cultures, my food lessons are a bit different. I have always had a thing for street food. Tom always told me one day it would bite me in the ass. Knock on wood, I have avoided, Bali Belly, the Thailand Trots, Costa Cramps, Montezuma’s Revenge, or anything else it may be called.
My first food lesson is cheap food (i.e. street food) tastes the best! My cheap bowls of Lanzhou LaMian in China or my 2€ crepe fromage in Paris, the $1 ear of roasted street corn in Istanbul…simply delicious.
Before moving to China I never encountered, let alone heard of durian or dragon fruit. I discovered many new fruits and vegetables in Asia. I have learned that you have not really tasted an avocado or a mango or a guava, etc. until you have tasted it picked fresh off the tree. When I was in Wasso, Tanzania at Bright English Medium School, they spent approximately 280,000 shillings ($120) to feed 300+ students, teachers, and volunteers 3 meals per day. Can you imagine feeding that number for $120? The teacher’s and students’ meals consisted of porridge for breakfast and beans and rice for lunch and dinner. It was the same 7 days per week. We as volunteers got chapati, fresh fruits, rice, spaghetti, and sometimes stew. It was difficult not to feel guilty, but I learned that food can be used to show appreciation.
Living abroad teaches you that traveling is a privilege. I am not inferring wealth with privilege. You don’t have to be rich to travel. You do need a certain amount of freedom, especially for long-term travel and you need a passion for it. I have also learned that you shouldn’t feel guilty about this privilege because I hope that I can use my privilege to inspire and educate others and maybe even change lives.
I have learned to always carry toilet paper or tissues.
I have learned to appreciate the beauty of language. I don’t mean the ability to say hello or order a coffee in multiple languages. It is the beauty of hearing someone say “foot fingers” because their language doesn’t have a word for toes or calling an apostrophe a “flying comma” or saying they work “elastic” hours because that is how it translates in English. The “sweetness of doing nothing” is much more beautiful in Italian, “dolce far niente”. It’s much sexier to hear, “Anni, amori e bicchieri di vino. Non si contano mai, than Years, lovers and glasses of wine. These are things that should never be counted.
I have learned that my problems are small when compared to other people and parts of the world.
When I lived in Dong’e, China my co-workers were amazed when they happened to see inside my wardrobe. I had more clothes and shoes than all of them put together. I am learning to simplify my life. I’m not quite there yet, but my plan when I leave Poland is to go with a small roller carry-on and a small backpack.
Some of the happiest people I have encountered had no television, no cell phones, no tablets or handheld electronic devices. They kicked a smashed-up water bottle around the yard when they didn’t have a soccer ball. They used overturned 5-gallon buckets for drums. Although I think I already knew this, my experience in Tanzania reinforced that things do not equal happiness.
We all smile in the same language.
The dictionary tells us that ordinary means with no special or distinctive features; normal. A few synonyms are usual, common, standard, and routine. It also tells us that extraordinary means very unusual, remarkable, amazing, spectacular, and sensational. I often hear folks say that I live an amazing life. I will admit that I do, but living abroad for ten years, every day isn’t a “WOW”. Some days are even humdrum.
Friends think it is extraordinary that I jump on a plane and go to Paris on a Friday evening and home on a Sunday evening, or I can surprise a friend in Rome with a 36-hour visit. That’s the beauty of life in Poland (Central Europe), it’s ordinary. I have learned that my ordinary can be someone’s extraordinary and vice-versa.
I have learned never to feel guilty about wasting a whole day.
Last week I wrote about becoming a C.O.W. (Citizen of the World) and the concept of home. You can read my thoughts in the preceding link, but I have learned that “home” takes on a new meaning when you travel long-term, and often, people just don’t get it.
I spent 53 hours on a train going to Tibet. I took an uncomfortable nine-hour journey on a local overcrowded, hot, dusty bus with more people than there were seats, some chickens, giant bags of rice, plus everyone’s luggage. It once took me over 50 hours to get from SE Asia to the United States because of a visa error and missed flights.
One of my homes in China only had a squat toilet. Alone, I broke my back and needed a six-hour surgery in rural China. I have learned that long-term traveling isn’t always easy and it isn’t for everyone. In my case, I have also learned that in the end, it is worth the hardships I’ve encountered.
I’m going to try and wrap it up here because I could go on and on. The world is indeed the biggest classroom.
This next one, although I was taught this as a child, travel has reinforced it. I have learned I can do anything I put my mind to.
Travel has taught me to accept and appreciate differences because, in the end, we are more alike than we realize.
I, alone, am responsible for my happiness!
This last one is hard to admit. It’s a real learning experience seeing your home country from afar and through the eyes of other people and cultures. Back in 2019, I was living in a communist country and I wrote a blog called “Living Abroad, Why I Sometimes Get Mad at America”. It had nothing to do with the political climate. I love my country and most of the time, when asked, I am proud to say, “I am American”. The American Dream is still out there in the minds of so many around the world. I hear it all the time, “My dream is to go to the United States”.
To be honest, there’s nothing like getting off your plane after several years abroad seeing the American flag, and hearing the immigration officials say, “Welcome home”. Now for the hard lesson…the more I travel and the longer I am away, I have learned that it’s scary to think about going home. When I next return, it will probably be around six years since I have last set foot on American soil. I think about reverse culture shock. My friend Cathy sent me a Giant Eagle supermarket flier. It was just WOW when I compared it to the cost of things in Poland and other places I have traveled. I see the prices my friends are paying when they go out for dinner and drinks. I haven’t driven a car since February 2020. I didn’t renew my license, mainly because America, or at least Ohio needs to play catch-up in the technology field. I currently rely solely on public transportation which won’t be an option when I return. Even though we have video chats and people text and email, I am not a part of daily life in Warren, Ohio. Sometimes it’s scary to think about sliding back into that life and how long it will be before I get the itch to set off again.
I can’t change Warren, Ohio, USA, or the world with my blog posts, but I can share my thoughts and experiences, good and bad. I can share a smile with a stranger. I can live more simply and I can continue to learn because as Rick Steves said, “Travel is rich with learning opportunities, and the ultimate souvenir is a broader perspective”.