Be The Change

Change – an act or process through which something becomes different”

“Be the Change” – I use this phrase a lot in my social media posts along with two of my favorite quotes. The first one is from Mother Teresa, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples”, and the second by Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Currently I am living in a predominantly Muslim country. Officially, 99% of the population are Muslim. The second largest religion in the country is Christianity, but most Christians are foreigners. I am living in the town of el Kelaa, Morocco, a smallish town about 80 km (50 miles) from Marrakech.

I am here on a WorkAway volunteering at an English school. Students at the school receive 4 hours of English lessons per week from a Moroccan English teacher. Then, depending on the availability of English speaking volunteers (usually native speakers), they can have a one-to-one, one-to-two or a small group session with one of the volunteers. It is a one hour conversation session as most students want to improve their speaking/communication skills. I would like to note that I tell the students if I ever ask any questions they are uncomfortable answering or just don’t have an answer, they can pass. Honestly, I don’t think I have had anyone pass.

Recently, I had the opportunity to have back-to-back one-to-one classes with two lovely teenage girls. After the classes, I went across the street to my usual cafe for a cafe creme. I was lost in thought, the two girls were polar opposites and I had an epiphany. I made a few notes on my phone, but knew I needed to put the pen to the paper and share my thoughts.

I remembered a blog post I had written in 2019 when I was living in Bali. I went back and reread it. Two of the passages are relevant to my current mindset. The first one, “I have been blessed to live and travel to many places around the globe that don’t practice Christianity. I’ve been to Mosques and listened to the prayers of those of Islamic faith. I have sat with monks in Buddhist temples. I have attended a service of Caodaism (cultivating self and finding god in self) in Tay Ninth, Vietnam. I have sat in monasteries in Tibet and read the teachings of the Dalai Lama. I have been at a Hindu cremation ceremony in Kathmandu, Nepal which follows closely to the Hinduism of India.”

The second relevant passage from that blog is, “Growing up Christian, we heard stories of missionaries in far-off lands converting these “pagans”, “non-believers”, and even those of other faiths to Christianity. Through my travels, I have come to question this practice and ask, “Why?” Why do we in the west think that our religion is the one true and right religion that everyone else should follow?” Why do we often seek to change others. Hear me out – this post isn’t about religion, though the idea was lingering in the back of my mind. It is more about understanding and accepting people’s choices, in religion, in relationships, in life.

My first student of the day was a 16 year old girl, wise beyond her years. She came into my class in a niqab, which means the only thing I could see were her eyes. Don’t let anyone tell you the eyes can’t smile. I was greeted with the biggest, brightest smile that put an equally big smile on my face. I sat across from her and we went through my usual intro stuff…name, age, are you originally from el Kelaa, etc. I have to be honest here, I had no idea what to expect from this young lady with the beautiful eyes. I had no idea how traditional she was, although based on her dress I had to guess very traditional. Traditional, for example, when approaching a Muslim woman (whether she wears a hijab (head scarf) or not) – it’s respectful to wait for her to offer her hand and give her the opportunity to show you if she doesn’t mind shaking hands, or you can place your hand on your chest as a gesture of polite greeting. I was curious and intrigued with countless questions racing through my mind.

My one-to-one sessions mainly consist of me asking a lot of questions, some easy, some deep, some just fun. I decided to start with my usual opening question, “Why is it important for you to learn English?” She replied that by learning English she would become a more confident woman. She also said that it would help her in all areas of life…her education, job opportunities, travel, etc. Very profound for a young lady without much worldly experience. Another question I ask comes from Twenty Questions to the World. The original concept of 20Q was started in 2016. Since then the same twenty questions have been asked to thousands of people around the world and their answers recorded…from a nomad in Mongolia to the little old man in a coffee shop in Spain to me when I was volunteering in Wasso, Tanzania.

I then asked question 3 from the original 20, “If you could choose one thing to teach in every school in the world, what would it be?” I also usually add, “and why?” She told me she would teach everyone to understand Islam because it is often misunderstood. To which she added, “No offense, but especially in America.” I couldn’t say I disagreed with “especially in America”. We continued to have a beautiful conversation and at some point I asked her what was the best thing about Morocco. She told me, “It is the people and our culture. We are kind, welcoming, don’t judge and most importantly we respect all. That is part of the basis of Islam. I respect your choice of religion and maybe if more people understood Islam, they would respect mine.” Did I tell you she was wise beyond her years? As our time came to an end, she surprised me with a big hug, a thank you, and a request for a selfie.

She had my head spinning but I didn’t have time to process my thoughts because a bubbly 12 year old was walking into the room and was my next one-to-one. She sat down and started talking without even being prompted. When I say polar opposites from the young lady before her, I wasn’t kidding. She came in dressed in western attire…meaning jeans, a sweatshirt, tennis shoes and no head scarf. We chatted about school, her family, their travels. She is one of the few young people I have met that has traveled outside of Morocco. Both of her parents have careers and if I recall correctly she has a younger brother. I change up my questions based on the age and English levels, so one of the questions I asked was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Well, the question was barely out of my mouth before she started into a discertation on becoming an airline pilot and how she wanted to see the world. I didn’t need to ask the why is it important for you to learn English question because she answered that in her I want to be a pilot. She knew that English is the language of the skies and she would need it to fulfill her dream. Next, I decided to also ask her the if you could teach one thing question. Not surprisingly she said she would teach that you can be anything you want to be. We finished up talking about Morocco, its culture and religion of which she was very knowledgeable. She also told me about being excited for Ramadan because it is very important in their culture/religion.

I left the school and walked across the street to the cafe to just sit, sip my cafe creme and try to organize my thoughts as they were racing around my head. I immediately started writing this post when I got home. I had just about finished and decided to sleep on the ending until morning. Somehow, when I went to work on it the next day, it was lost in cyberspace as a corrupted file on my SD card. I was crushed and angry but started again fresh. Now it has taken me about 3 weeks to finally conclude. I have had so many interesting conversations with students during this time, I wish I could tell every story.

Every conversation I have gives me deeper meaning to “be the change”. I have a PhD student, a Professor of Philosophy, some 40 something housewives who just want to learn English, and a young teenage boy who asked me what I thought love was, because he thinks he is in love.

I am sitting here tonight on the third day of Ramadan. I am following the fasting for thirty days. No one has said I have to do this. I also have an English version of the Quran that I read a little on occasion. I am doing this not because I want to convert and no one has asked me to, but because I want to see the world, their world, their culture through their eyes, not mine. In turn, I hope I can share with you what I see, what I taste, what I feel. I want to be one of those ripples. I overuse this quote by Gene Wilder, “My only hope is that even for a moment I helped you see the world a little bit different.”

When I say “Be the Change”, I don’t want to change anyone but myself. Be the change isn’t about changing others, but understanding ourselves and our view of the world. Mahatma Gandhi’s quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” tells me that if I make the change within me, I have the power to create a better world.

I want to end on a lighter note with a quote from the Dalai Lama, “If you think you are too small to make a difference…try sleeping with a mosquito.”

#BeTheChange