It’s been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. You will probably get a thousand words because I must tell the back story of the photo I have chosen. The photo I have chosen is simply a picture of 3 young girls. It will be joined by two others as the story progresses. Some of you have heard the back, back story which is where I will start, so you will have to hear it again or skip on by.
In August 2014, I packed up my life and moved to Paris, France. For the first two months, I lived on Square Bolivar in the 19th arrondissement. I knew I would eventually need to move and from there I went to Montmartre on Rue Durantin. This was a short walk from what had become my favorite café, Café Chappe. It was my go-to place for un café or un verre de vin. I had become friends with Julie who worked there during my many visits to Café Chappe between 2013 and February 2015. She told me her dream was to move to Bali, Indonesia. At some point, I promised that if she moved to Bali, I would visit her there. I happened to return to Paris for a two-week holiday in July of 2015 and of course one of my first stops was Café Chappe. Lo and behold, Julie was there. She had indeed gone to Bali, but had returned to Paris because of her youngest son, they planned to go back to Bali at the end of the summer and suggested I should visit. She did and I did!
In February 2018, I made plans to visit Julie. Travel to Bali is quite convenient and relatively inexpensive from the Middle Kingdom where I was living at the time. Julie was living in Seminyak which is a seaside community and was teaching yoga. For the first part of my holiday I planned to stay in Ubud, which is more north and inland, as there were several things I wanted to experience in that area. At the end of my holiday, I would go to Canggu and finally meet up with my friend from Paris. That my friends is how I ended up going to Bali for the first time.
Now for the rest of the story… I had a homestay about a 20-30-minute walk from Central Ubud. During my homestay, I had a room with a private bathroom in a family compound. I say compound, because in Bali families usually live together. Together, this means there are several free-standing homes often with a central kitchen in what is called a compound. There is also always a family temple shared by all the households. These compounds make up a tight-knit community. The communities, in turn, make up a village. Kenari House, my homestay was in the community of Banjar, Teges Yangloni the village of Peliatan. My hosts, Ketut and Koming, and their two young daughters immediately made me feel like part of the family.
Finding them so open, I always seemed to have a dozen questions about Bali and Hinduism whenever I was with them. As my time at Kenari House was nearing the end, I wasn’t quite ready to leave. I extended my stay by one day before heading south to Canggu. Staying this extra day turned into my first experience with a Balinese Ceremony. There was a wedding in the community. Koming invited me to attend with her family. What a privilege to have this opportunity. Koming loaned me a Kamen (sarong/skirt) so I would be appropriately dressed. It seemed the entire community was there, and they welcomed me with open arms. I didn’t get to learn much about the wedding ceremony as I was leaving that afternoon. As I was saying my goodbyes to Ketut and Koming, she told me since I enjoyed the wedding so much, I should return in August. She explained that Ketut’s mother had died in 2016 and every 3 years the community held a Ngaben or Cremation Ceremony. She would be part of the ceremony this August. Would I like to come back for the ceremony? I told her I would be honored to return and would do my best to make it happen.
Indeed, I made my way back to Bali and the Ngaben Ceremony. I always thought my experience camping at EBC (Everest Base Camp) and watching the sun set and rise on the mighty mountain couldn’t be topped. My experience with this beautiful Balinese ritual, the emotion of first-hand exhuming a corpse, washing it and preparing it for cremation, witnessing the burning, understanding each step of the ceremony, and returning the ashes to the sea was truly overwhelming and something I will never forget. I was included like family every step of the way. During this visit, I spent almost two weeks with my Balinese family. I also knew I would return and it would be for an extended period of time.
I left China in July 2019, made a stop in Vietnam, and then straight to Bali and Kenari House which I would call my home until I headed back to the States at the end of November. I can’t begin to tell you what Ketut, Koming, Kirana, and Kiara and their extended family came to mean to me over the time I spent with them. They included me in every aspect of their life and Balinese culture. I celebrated important events, went to temple events, had my own Kebaya and Kamen made for the ceremonies, I learned to make canang sari (daily offering) and what the ritual stood for, I learned to prepare Balinese food with Ketut (he is a chef), and they welcomed my friends from the USA with open arms when they came to visit for two weeks. I could go on and on, but they are truly like my family.
In May 2021, there was to be a special ceremony at the community temple. When I left in 2019, I said I would return for the ceremony. As we all know, the world stopped turning in early 2020. Even by early 2021, it was becoming obvious that I would not be able to go to Bali in May of 2021.
On April 23, 2021, I received a photo in a message. I saw Ketut looking like a young Jackie Chan and a small baby. That photo I don’t have, but it was soon followed by Kirana and Kirara with baby Komang as seen above. She was born on April 2nd, but they wouldn’t be posting pictures publicly until after the three-month celebration or 105 days by the Balinese calendar. There is a special ceremony called nyabutan or nyambutin.
You may be wondering why I consider this photo special. They knew I was planning to visit for the temple ceremony in May and were keeping the baby a secret. They didn’t tell me because they wanted to surprise me when they picked me up from the airport and introduce me to the newest member of “my family”.
I know that was a long story for a simple explanation, but Bai is my soul and my Balinese family will forever hold a special place in my heart. I still have plans to return to Bali, maybe next year! That is why that photo means a lot to me.
Down the Rabbit Hole 